Blog on a log

I'm too tired to Blog. Blog is such an ugly word. It's an official word now, did you know that? You can use it while playing Scrabble. Learn something new everyday.

I'm too tired to blog, but I'm doing it anyway. I know I have some faithful readers and I want to apologize because I feel like my on-line journal (trying not to use the word BLOG) has become a real downer to read, morose, depressing, negative. I'm really not that type of person, I'm just feeling a bit defeated, that's all. (I promise I'll get better!!) :-)

Thursday morning, at 3:45AM, we will be pulling out of our garage to head to O'Hare airport. I should be thinking about the fact that we will be heading towards an amazing, FREE vacation, something we completely need and deserve. Instead, I'll be thinking about the fact that I'll be leaving my very sick child. I can hardly stand the thought, I've become choked up so many times tonight at the thought. I can't even stand the thought of going to my Weight Watcher meeting because I feel so bad. (I'm gone for less than an hour.) I'm just so sad that this is happening right now.

Today started out so much better, Noah had a very good night, despite being sick, he slept until 8:40am. He woke up yelling "HI MOMMA! HI MOMMA" It was music to my ears. And although he didn't eat much, he played and played. Something I didn't see yesterday. Well, I put him down for his nap and then I had a doctor's appointment myself, because, I am sick, too. I came home and opened the door and saw this child that made me want to weep. He looked so tired and so sad and his eyes seemed so little, he had so much puss oozing from his eyes and the snot streaming down his nose was dark and endless. (sorry to be gross) I immediately came in and cleaned his face off, which is when I noticed that he was so warm, hot. He was breathing fast, shallow breaths. He's done this before but tonight it was worse. I took his temperature and he was at 104. I decided to page the doctor. She called back and was concerned, but told me to increase his Tylenol, (I wasn't giving him enough) wait 30 minutes, give him a luke warm bath and take his temperature again. If he is still "panting," as she called it, call her back right away. I did as she said and his temperature dropped to 102.6 and his panting slowed down. (she compared the panting to what a dog does when it is hot, it pants. A child will do the same thing to try to fight the fever. Interesting. No?)

So, we went to Walgreens to pick up even more prescriptions, came home and he played again. I need to learn to just put him into bed, even if he's playing. The poor boy is so tired, but will play if the house is on fire. As soon as I laid him down he turned on his side and shut his eyes. Poor little guy. I'm praying that he feels better tomorrow. I'm so scared to see what his eyes will look like in the morning, they continued to ooze all night tonight.

And yes, I have a sinus infection. I'm really concerned about going into an airplane with my sinuses so plugged up, but my doctor gave me medication to combat that problem. So, I think I'll head into bed and get a good night's sleep, considering tomorrow night will be a short night.

Today I told Anna we were leaving for vacation, believe me, she is not sad, she's excited! She loves to have her Oma come over. I said we are going on a cruise on a big ship, do you want to see a picture? She replied "sure, great idea!" So, I showed her the boat and she said "you're going on the ocean?" My girl is so smart. Tonight, I told her we were going to Mexico and we were going to bring her back a present "she said from Mexico and America?" My girl is wicked smart.

Don't miss me while I'm gone! Well, you can if you want to.