My weight loss journey

I had to laugh at Amy F's comment from last night's entry about my weight loss during my cruise. Let me start out by saying that because I was sick, it was really easy for me to become full and not finish eating. I can't smell anything, nor can I really taste anything. That really helps. However, with that said, I would have rather gained 5 lbs than been sick during the cruise. (and still be sick right now) I also had a goal to try to eat like someone who is a size 10, rather than a person who was a 14/16 who is temporarily wearing size 10 clothes. I am really trying to figure out when I am full and learn to be okay with not eating everything on my plate, no matter how good it tastes. I also walked alot and took stairs about 60% of the time. (10 floors on this ship, that's alot of stairs!)

I joined Weight Watchers in March of 2004, I weighed in at 208 pounds. I successfully lost weight, BUT I did not exercise and I saw my "healthy" eating habits as temporary. I would often think to myself "when I'm off WW, I can't wait to eat that or this...I'll just eat less." But I never taught myself to eat less. In September 2004 I weighed in at 166 lbs, my lowest weight, after that week I gained and continued to do so. By January 2005, my weight "crept" up to 188 pounds. By April I weighed 194.5 pounds. Since the first time I joined Weight Watchers I have re-joined SEVEN times. Last spring I even went as far as asking my doctor if there were any weight loss pills that he could prescribe to help me along. He said no, just eat healthier and exercise. I thought "I've done that, I'll just buy some pills over the counter." He must have heard my thoughts because he said because of my hypo-thyroidism and my high blood pressure, if I were to take any type of weight loss pill, especially those containing ephedrine, I could very well die of a heart attack. I never took a pill.

I joined on February 8th, 2006 to lose weight for our cruise. I have been incredibly focused from the start. In my first five weeks, I can honestly say I NEVER cheated. If I did throw something in my mouth that was not planned, I counted it. I felt instant results and I liked it. I also decided to join a gym, doing both programs made me see myself differently and made me feel different. I felt good. Healthy. Thinner. I have attended Weight Watchers meetings for 14 Wednesdays in a row, no matter what, I never miss. I often ask myself what is different about this time versus the other "failed" attempts, this is what I have come up with:

1. I want to be healthy, not just skinny. (thank you, Penny for pointing that out)
2. After watching so many Oprahs about being a woman and being healthy, they always say to eat healthy and excercise. I figured they're probably not wrong.
3. I view eating poorly as doing something negative to me. I COULD stop and get a milkshake or sneak one silly little french fry, but why would I do that to myself? I take it personally.
4. I love having energy. Energy means alot to me. Between my low thyroid and my extra weight I was constantly tired, now I am not.
5. As mentioned before, weekly meetings. It means alot to me to go in and lose weight every week. It means something to me to know I am not alone. I take pride in my recognition. Last night, someone at my meeting, who joined in December and who regularly attends, stopped me and said "Beth, you look really good." I don't know why but that compliment from that person meant the world to me.
6. Most importantly, my heart is in it. If your heart is not in the program, you can't be successful. (explains the seven failed attempts, my heart just wasn't in it.) I recently learned that "to discipline" means "to teach." I am very disciplined. But at the same time, I hope I am teaching myself to eat right, learn when I am full and love my new found health and do everything it takes to hold on to it.
7. I have an incredible network of support, others doing the program along side me. Great cheerleaders and motivators make such a difference.
8. I don't always resist temptation, but when I do, I pat myself on the back, feeling great pride. When I don't resist, I get over it and run towards the next hurdle, knowing there are more.
9. I plan my meals almost every single day. Every point is planned ahead of time. This is really important.

So, there really are no secrets. I just follow the program. I keep saying to myself that there is nothing wrong with the program. That if I fail on this program, the program didn't fail me, I did. And I refuse to fail.