Monday, November 13, 2006

The Race Car, the Witch, the Skeleton and Ariel

My kids have given themselves new names. While I was giving them a bath on Saturday night, Anna was pretending to be Ariel, swimming in the ocean. She then said "I'm Ariel." Then Noah said "I'm Race Car." And then after their baths they would say things like "Ariel, what are you doing." "Nothing Race Car, what are you doing?" "Nothing, Ariel." Then I would say "Noah, do you want some milk?" And he would reply "I'm Race Car, Witch." yes, they began calling me Witch. Race Car would continue "Witch, I'm Race Car, she's Ariel and Daddy's Skeleton." okie dokie. This continued through Sunday. We had a family get together last night and everyone called Noah "Race Car," it was PRETTY FUNNY because he truly loves being called Race Car. It wasn't until this morning, while I was getting ready to go to the gym that I became concerned about taking the kids into public. I imagined ourselves at the store when a cashier would ask "What's your name?" "I'm Ariel and I'm Race Car." I became increasingly petrified on our way to the gym, something told me that they were pretty serious about these name changes. We walked into the day care, they entered the security door, took off their coats and yelled to every child and day care worker "I'm Ariel and this is Race Car, right Witch??" It was great. I explained to the employees the situation, and asked them to please pay no mind to their name changes.

I went to the doctor on Friday. Did I mention in my previous blog that I was actually making a list of ailments so share with the doctor? I just didn't want to forget anything Made me feel so old. Anyway, I went and it went pretty well. Here was my list:
-Headaches--some days they're just terrible
-Knee (I know I mentioned that)
-Thyroid check
-Plantars wart
-a small white bump to the left of my eye

so, let's start with the white bump. I didn't ask, I was too embarrassed by my long list.
Knee, he said I bruised my bone pretty badly, it will take a few more weeks to heal.
Thyroid check-blood test in four weeks. Headaches, he switched my blood pressure medication. He feels I am experiencing migraines which can be a side effect of my medicine, so he switched my medication. He also gave me a list of foods that contain tyramine which has been known to cause headaches and migraines. Homemade bread, crackers and cheese, doughnuts, coffee cake, chocolate, nuts, many varieties of beans, bananas, raisins, peanut butter, chocolate syrup, chocolate candy, red wine, pizza, cheese sauce, seasoned salt, macaroni and cheese, beef stroganoff, and lasagna are just a few of the items I should not consume. Whatthefuckever. Today I made homemade chocolate chip banana bread. oops. (I seriously think it did give me a headache, though, isn't that crazy?!?!) I'll do my best to stay away, but I have had cheese sauce 250 days of the last 255, know.
Okay, so my plantars wart. I thought I had a plantars wart on my foot. I totally blamed it on the pedicure I got back in August. Come to find's a corn. A corn. Like what my Grandma used to get. Anyway, he told me to flip over onto my belly on the table, he left the room, came back with sterilized instruments and dug it out of my foot. I shit you not, there was a hole in ball of my foot when he was done. (yes, it hurt like hell) But guess what, I stood on it and there was no pain. A miracle! After my appointment I went to my knitting class and let's just say....I need to practice.

And uh, to my heart breaking news. My friend, Lynette, my Oprah show hook up, she called yesterday asking what my plans were for Wednesday. She thought my trip to NY was this past weekend, she wanted me to go to Oprah with her to see John Mayer on Wednesday. but I can't. Have fun, my friend, you deserve this trip....I'll be thinking of you. (lucky hooker) Seriously, though, I really don't know much about John Mayer, I would have liked to have just gone to see Oprah again, so I guess there are other people more deserving! Thanks for thinking of me, Lynette. You are the best!


  • At 11/14/2006 11:09:00 AM, Anonymous Dana said…

    I am cracking up at the Ariel, Race Car and Witch thing. That is so funny, I can imagine how you explained to the daycare workers what was going on!

  • At 11/14/2006 04:07:00 PM, Blogger christy said…

    Okay Witch, I'm seriously cracking up at the name changes. Very creative ;), but very hard to deal with in public I'm sure. I mean if I heard a kid calling their mom witch in public, I would seriously piss on myself and then after I cleaned up and stopped laughing my ass off, feel really sorry for the mom!!

    A corn? For real? Ugh. Glad you got it removed.

    And as for that ingredient causing headaches. What the F*ck?. I could never give up all of that stuff. Not even most of that stuff. No way. Hopefully the adjustment of your BP med will fix you right up so you can carry on eating your chips and queso every night.

  • At 11/14/2006 04:16:00 PM, Blogger Jenn said…

    I am thinking of you and hoping you are feeling better soon! Good for you for getting checked out :) I make lists for my doctors too, but I am lucky to remember to bring it with me. Yah, I must BE old.

    The new names are too funny. I seriously busted out laughing while imagining them talking.

    Huge bummer on missing Oprah!

  • At 11/14/2006 04:38:00 PM, Blogger Lynette said…

    I'm sorry to that you aren't able to go see Oprah with me. Next time for sure!
    Your kids are so creative with their new names. I wonder why they named you witch? Are you sure they didn't mean stitch from you taking the kniting class? Ha!

  • At 11/14/2006 10:29:00 PM, Blogger amy f. said…

    Your kids are TOO funny. The names they chose are priceless.

    Um, DIGGING a corn out of your foot sounds very painful! I'm sorry you had to endure that, but glad it feels better!

    How the heck does Lynette always get tickets for Oprah? What is her trick? Who does she know? I'm dying to see Oprah some day. She says she's only doing the show 5 more years....the clock is ticking...I must get my hands on some tickets!


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