Can't Touch This

Hammer has a blog.

Stop talking SO loud....

Supposedly, if you have a sour stomach after a night of heavy drinking, you are supposed to eat copious amount of grease. I'm not sure why, I will not question the theory, I shall only following directions. Brian is on his way home with 2 breakfast burritos from McDonald's right now. Brian got his haircut this morning with my new hairstylist, I schedule the appointment last Friday. What was I thinking scheduling his haircut after a night of my drinking? I'm a fool. Surprisingly, I am feeling OKAY. Just okay. Sleep was a little rough, in particular when I laid down on the bed and laid on my side and the bed started spinning and jumping all throughout the bedroom. I then laid on my back and covered my eyes with my arm.

Here is what I know about last night:

• Our dinner was delicious, but our waitress was not. She forgot to bring me more bread and our dessert menu.
• We first walked into a bar that I had been to in the past. When I was there before, it was filled with younger people and was lively and smokey. When we (three girls in their upper 20's) walked in last night, a line of mullets sitting casually with a smoke in one hand and a rum and coke in the other, all turned their mullets towards us, simultaneously. It was unnerving and scary and smokey. And we left.
  
• We found, after walking and then driving, another bar and it rocked my world.
  
• I know I played the air drums too much.
• I know I danced to people like Nelly, (the guys with the perpetual cut on his face, poor guy), Ying Yang, Eminem and Nate Dogg singing about asses, of course, and I also danced to Twisted Sister, Stevie Wonder, John Mellencamp and Prince. Ah...Prince, you rock my world. Just ask the guys in the booth behind me.
  
• When I say danced, I mean sitting in the booth dancing....playing my air drums.
• I met Tequila Rose shots. Twice. They taste like Strawberry Milkshakes. They cost more than my shoes.
  
• I learned that you can give your credit card to your booby waitress and they will keep a tab open for you. They're so nice!
• I know I drank alot of beer. I know I thought it was the schiznit. It was like drinking ice water.
  
• I learned that one of the girls I was with is freakishly strong and can do the running man...sober.
  
• I know the other girl likes country. There was a song about a redneck girl and it was awful and you had to yell "hell ya." Not Cute.
  
• The other thing I know....too many pictures were taken.
  

My eyes are burning

My eyes are burning, contacts irritate me. Sometimes I feel like my eyes are flat and my contoured contacts are trying to grab onto them. It's irritating. I have a headache. and it's so hot outside I want to vomit.

Don't get me wrong, I'm in a good mood, I just wanted to get the bitching out of the way. ah... I feel better.

At 10:48am today, I was in my mini-van, driving away from home by myself, thanks to my MIL. I had a great time, but I spent too much money. I'm thinking about divorcing Target. I think I'm going to go 1 month without going there to see if I actually have more money in my checking account, I think I will. I hope Brian doesn't read this, he may hold me to it. (he knows just how addicted I am to that stupid store. God, I love it.) I came back home at 2pm. Over 3 solid hours of solitude. I went to Old Navy, DSW, Office Max (to return my easel, LMAO!), Pier One, Value City Furniture, Taco Bell and Target. I need coffee.

And I can't stop eating EL Fudge sandwich cookies..............

Circles

This is my second entry of the evening. Be sure to check out more pictures that I posted earlier!

Here you go...a picture of the back of my hair. I decided not to wait.

Swinging at Lynette's house for her son's birthday party on Sunday! This swing is A SWING. It's attached to a tree branch about 30 feet up. Anna LOVED IT. Noah...did not.

People that make me happy!

People that make Anna happy!





A picture of Lynette's amazing boys. Picture courtesy of moi.


Anna being pushed on the swing.








NOAH DREW CIRCLES TODAY!! He had a blue crayon and he drew squiggly lines and said "look, momma, water!!" That in itself I almost cried my eyes out, and then I said "can you draw a circle?" And he said "oh sure!" (in a way that only he can say it...those that have heard him say it know how cute it is!) He turned the paper over and drew circles.


Who needs clothes while eating a bedtime snack? Not Noah.


or Anna






Not a great picture of Anna, but Noah looks soooooo CUTE.

I Love This Picture.

This one, too.

Yes, and this one.

How could you not love this?!?!?!?!

Noah running around in underwear and slippers. I wanted to try potty training, but I'm afraid it will lead me to drink more often.


Anna wears these slippers for naps and for bedtime. All night long.




This is how Anna watches TV when she is scared of what she is watching....


Mommy's Group. We were playing Win, Lose or Draw.


drunk girls at Mommy's Group.

Deep Fried Fantastic

It's been SO long since I blogged! WOW! Not much going on...my little sister is still waiting patiently to deliver a baby girl......any day now...any moment...

This past week I hosted Mommy's Group and it was FUN! I decided to serve Margaritas and was about to go downstairs to retrieve my trusty blender when I remembered I won a Professional Smoothie maker last year! It was still downstairs in the box it was shipped in! It was awesome. And the margaritas were DEELISH! Along with the rest of the drinks, too! Thanks, Lynette! Tomorrow night I am going to dinner with friends to celebrate a birthday and I am so incredibly excited.

Tonight we had severe storms and flash flooding. We even had a tornado warning, thank goodness for the basement. We believe it stopped raining for now! Thank goodness!

I'm off to watch TV! Thanks for checking in!

Here is Anna wanting to look like her Mommy after a shower.

Last week we went to one of the county fairs in the area. My Mom and I took the kids for their first time. They really enjoyed it.

Of course, Anna had issues with the smell.

This goat had a cup stuck to his jaw. Poor goat. (reminds me of the Adam Sandler skit about the goat.)

This was Noah reacting to cars racing. Obviously he loved it. What I love MOST about this picture is the kid (who we don't know) geniunely enjoying Noah's reaction. and they're both wearing orange tank tops.

Heaven. Deep. Fried. Reese's cups. word to yo mutha.

Anna and her cousin and her aunt celebrating my Mom's birthday. We decided we are getting Anna's hair cut. Hopefully this weekend.

Noah enthusiastically singning Happy Birthday!!

This picture almost makes me uncomfortable. Brian doesn't stand next to animals. Even fake ones.

This picture made both Brian and I uncomfortable. Is this the creepiest looking elf thing you have ever seen? And look! His buttons are unbuttoned. What the hell?

Here we saw a kid being arrested, he was kissing his crying girlfriend goodbye. Too bad it's blurry.

Deep Fried Freakin' Fantastic.

Nesting for my sister?

A few weeks ago, my pregnant sister (who is now 39 weeks and 1 day preggo) and I were talking on the phone when she mentioned that she thought nesting was an old wives tale. I believe it was two days later that she started nesting. She cleaned everything and didn't stop until she finished a baby quilt that she had started over three years ago. She was a pregnant, cleaning F-5 tornado that lasted a good 2-3 days. I secretly prayed she would stop, only because I feared she would collapse. She did stop, she didn't collapse and her house is in much better order now.

It's been a few weeks and I think I'm starting to nest myself. I don't believe it's any type of sisterly instinct or anything like that, I am just nesting. I have cleaned things that I have never cleaned before. I am hosting my Mommy's Group tonight, (which essentially excites me most because I can drink all I want), so I am in cleaning mode trying to prepare my house, but I've hosted before, and this time is different, it's not your basic cleaning. In fact, it's the basic cleaning I have yet to complete! Just to give you an idea, I've pulled out my refrigerator and cleaned underneath it, and the sides of the fridge and the walls, anything having to do with my refrigerator has been cleaned. I could list 12 other things I have cleaned like that (just ask Brian) but I don't want to bore you with the details. (just ask Brian, again.)

But do you know what? I freakin' love that Mr. Clean Dry Eraser. Don't let it limit you to just crayons. Oh no, I'm certain I'm going to use it in the garage next. It's God in a sponge. (or whatever it's made of) It laughs at stains and makes them cry. Our house was built (by a builder who we are sure spent his days in a drunken stupor while building our house) in 2003. Around my kitchen window, the one above my sink, there has been a plaster stain on the white trim of the window. I love the window, but no matter how much I have scrubbed, that stain would not come out. Until God in a Sponge (or whatever it's made of) came into it's presence. Yep, without any elbow grease at all, the stain came right up. It's a wonderful, beautiful thing.

All is good in the world (for now)

Okay, I just got back from MY NEW SALON and I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE my hair.
Did I say Love??? I love it. and my new hairstylist rocks. I even made an appointment for Brian. I told her if it weren't our first time meeting, there is no doubt I would be kissing her. It's that awesome.

So, I'm here at home, with my kick ass hair, with my two most precious angels, Brian's on his way home and my favorite pizza on the way, life is good.

I think the first time I'll preview my new do on my blog is when I'm holding my niece...whenever she decides to join us here on earth!

Some nights, I wish I had this sign on my bed.

We've been spending some time at the county fair. This is just one of a few pictures from the country celebration. (is it a celebration?) Affair? Event, perhaps. Either way, here is one picture taken that I thoroughly enjoyed, especially the fact that this was in the center of a child filled area.

I am leaving my hairstylist. After MANY MANY years of going to her, I've decided it is time to leave. (yes, she pissed me off, but I think I'll skip over the details, they're not important.) So, tomorrow, I take that dreaded journey to an entirely new salon, I'm scared & excited.
wish me luck.

My central air sucks ass

It's true. It is SO hot in this house and our air conditioning has been on all day long, running, non stop. NON. STOP.
So, after baking tonight, it made it hotter. Then I continued to clean all day. I'm playing a game with myself where I am pretending like I am putting our house on the market. (I suppose these things I should keep to myself, but I think it's a good idea!) Why? So I clean my house really thoroughly. So, today I focused on my kitchen. It's not that big but I still managed to spend all day and night in there. I scrubbed my table and chairs, top to bottom. I pulled out my oven and clean around that. I washed all of my cabinets and countertops. And finally, (Sara T, you'll appreciate this) tonight I cleaned the inside of my oven for the first time since we moved in almost 3 years ago. It was brand new. I still think it was a waste of time, I just think about how hot the oven gets, doesn't that make it an automatic sanitizer?!?!!? Either way, it looks beautiful. Then I cleaned underneath my sink. Everything in the kitchen looks great, now I have to focus on the rest of my house.

In other news....my sister is due to have her sweet baby girl ANY DAY NOW. I am privileged to be able to witness the birth. My sister has given me permission to blog throughout her labor, assuming the hospital has wi-fi. Cross your fingers. I just can't wait!

And in other other news...I have heartburn. It hurts and I am a little concerned about it because I am already on medication for acid reflux and have been for years. Why am I experiencing heartburn despite being on a medication to treat the heartburn? I was supposed to see a gastroenterologist late last year and never went...I guess I'll be going now.....don't give me that look. Would you want to get a scope put down your throat? I didn't think so.

Swimming like fish

As I stated in my last post, we had a great time visiting family this past weekend. My parents had two pools set up and the heat was unbelievable. We knew the pools would be a great for Anna, but we didn't think Noah would like it much. And we were right, until I got in the pool with him then he LOVED it! He turned into a fish, just like his sister! We had a blast! I spent hours in the pools with all of the kids, I got a little bit of sun and had fun with everyone! Enjoy the pictures!

Anna fitting in with the older kids.






On the way to play in the "waterfalls." (Noah calls pools "waterfalls.")




You can never be too safe, too early.
















Matthew (4) from S. Carolina. 3 guns at once. That is talent!






I love this picture.


I love this picture, too.


Lots of kids. Lots of fun.




Noah loving his company.