Oh Christmas Tree

We do not have a Christmas tree and we can't find one. We threw ours out last year because it came in about 80 pieces, (seriously) it was not pre-lit and most importantly, the branches continued to come off. So, after seven years, we retired it. It was a cheap tree anyway. So, this year, we have the task of buying one. It sucks because A. We can't really afford a Christmas tree less than a month before Christmas (idiots!) and B. Every tree I like is $500.

What the hell is this tree? They are called upside down trees and they are irritating the CRAP OUT OF ME. We saw them for the first time tonight at American Sales and they had many on display. They're appealing to people because they save space, but I actually get dizzy when I look at them, I feel off balance and I hate it. Have any of you seen these anywhere? Do you like them? Do you have one? I hate them.

Tonight, at 7pm, we packed the chickens up and we headed out to find a Christmas tree. Supposedly, we are going to have a blizzard tomorrow, so I thought it would be fun to have a tree. We went to Menard's, American Sales, CostCo, Lowe's, K-Mart and Old Time Pottery. And we came home with some shelves for our basement. I'm feeling a little defeated and discouraged. So, let me ask you this, if you have a real tree in your house...why? Growing up, we always had artificial trees, it's all I know. I've only heard negative things about a real tree--like the needles constantly fall off and apparently you have to water it. (oh and you continue to find needles until July--is this true?!?!) I understand they smell good, but so do candles. I know some people have real trees because it's traditional. We have neighbors that go out and cut their own tree down every year. It's their tradition. I'm pretty sure they do it just so they can say it's their tradition, but whatever. Are there other benefits to a real tree? I want to try it, I really do, I LOVE the price and the idea of a real tree, but is it really worth it? Please help me!

Signed,
Treeless and freezing my ass off in Indiana

lovely

After 8 or 9 days of weather in the 50's and 60's, Mother Nature is putting the smack down.

crap.

Photo entry

I'm just too tired to actually TYPE my Thanksgiving Day weekend. Don't you know how much energy typing takes?!?! Today I felt more like myself, although not completely. I did, however, spend 3-4 hours cleaning my basement! (Lynette, you would be SO impressed!) I figure if Brian and I both spent 8 more hours a piece down there, we could have it clean. Seriously, it's that bad. It's an unfinished full basement that we dream of finishing but we can't because we can't afford it. We have created a fun play area for the kids, filled with rugs, toys, a tv and a VCR. They're very happy down there. very.happy. Which is nice for us because we get a ton of work done. ;-)
On to the photos!

Noah on his way to Thanksgiving Dinner!


yummy. (p.s. they don't eat turkey OR mashed potatoes. crazy kids.


My Nephew.


My younger sister and Mary Addison at the start of shopping on Black Friday.


I had a great picture here of my Mom but BLOGGER BOT IS A BITCH AND FAILED TO UPLOAD IT WHICH HAS HAPPENED 17,000 TIMES IN THE PAST 24 HOURS.
deep breath. deep breath.


Anna with her cousins. Brian and I hosted a sleepover Saturday night for four of my nephews. They range in ages from 9-14. It was so fun!


Beds built by Beth. (again, bloggerbot being a bitch, another boy is the white portion of the pictures. wtf?!!?)


Sunday morning Target ad.


Brian, Ryan and a can of Diet Coke.


Anna and her best cousin, Jenna. Anna has been asking for red hair lately. (seriously!) My Mom bought some wigs for the playroom at her house. Both the girls were very pleased.


My brother Dan and baby Tessa. They arrived Saturday night at 6:30pm and left at 8am the next morning, they had a 10 hour drive ahead of them. Poor things.


Noah singing "Happy Birthday" to his Daddy. (Brian's Birthday is Wednesday the 29th!)
THE BIG 3-0!


Mary Addison and Tessa Mary (born two weeks apart!) This was their first meeting, one lives in Louisville, the other outside of Kansas City.

Here it is...an update

I'm actually blogging while my children surround me. One is drinking juice, playing with cars and watching the Wiggles. The other just came into the living room with a pink baseball cap on, her juice, seventeen books (not kidding), a puzzle, a play plate and a basket, all placed in a Wal-Mart Shopping Cart. Watching the toys, games and books just ooooooooze out of the bedroom is....tiring.

What a weekend!! or Week! or TWO WEEKS!! My goodness! Today is my first "normal" SAHM day in a very, very long time. and I am pooped! I thought I would update you all on some of the health issues I have been having. A week and a half ago I went to the doctor to talk to him about these headaches I have been having very frequently. He switched my blood pressure medication. I was on my happy way and went to New York a few days later. While there, especially in the plane, I did not feel right. My head felt a ton of pressure, my hands would fall completely asleep, and I just felt tired. I also felt like I couldn't take deep breaths. But I blamed it on the whirlwind trip. I came home on a Friday night and was exhausted, nauseous and again, I did not feel like me. But mostly, I was having very frequent heart palpitations, like 25 a day. I sat around alot, which is not very typical of me. On Sunday, I felt the same. By evening, I checked my blood pressure and it was actually high, around 140/96, on medication and my pulse was low, around 60. (that is low for me, it's typically in the high 80's, low 90's) So, Monday I went back to the doctor. He said I was having an allergic reaction to the type of BP medication (beta blocker) he put me on and it was actually causing me to experience asthma. So, my head feeling like it was going to explode and the hands going numb was just me not getting enough OXYGEN. Nice, eh? So, he prescribed something new for me to take that night. I got it filled while doing my Thanksgiving Day shopping after my appointment. Got home, ate dinner, went shopping again with the family and came home. I took the medicine and laid in bed...very excited to feel like myself again. BUT, I didn't. I woke up Tuesday with the worst migraine in the history of the world. I'm not even going to go into specifics because no words do it justice. But, let's just say my doctor called in Vicodin and Imitrex and nothing worked. Not to mention I had both Anna and Noah alone from 7am-6pm. die die die die. That's how I felt. My BP was up to 145/101. Finally, at 9pm I had relief after being able to lay in the dark by myself, taking a Tylenol 3 and an 800 mg Ibuprofen, drinking Gatorade and eating crackers. (which was good after vomitting as much as I did) I also had to miss my Mommy's Group which made me soooooooooooooo sad. Anyway, I couldn't help but think the migraine was caused by my new BP medication, so I stopped taking it. On Wednesday, I resumed my old, old meds and have yet to call my doctor back. Would you believe I am actually scared to see my doctor? I feel like I have gone against his back or something crazy like that. Here is what I know...I have spent $40 in co-pays and $100 in co-pays for medication. That is $140 in Christmas money that I will not get back and I have two full bottles of BP medication that I will never take again. Let's just say, the little headache I have right now, is just fine with me for now. (Can I just tell you that my sister who lives in Michigan was planning to visit for the holiday weekend. She arrived Wednesday afternoon and she came and picked my kids up and took them to my Mom's for almost 3 hours and fed them dinner. OMG, it was such a treat! Also, when she came to pick them up, she helped me clean the kids' room before leaving. I'm so lucky!)

There is my health update, I do plan on updating again later tonight, but you know how that goes. :-)
P.S. I finished this blog at least five hours after starting it. Blogging while the kids are awake just doesn't work too well.

Happy Thanksgiving to you!

I hope everyone that reads this has a wonderful Thanksgiving! Be sure to think about our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan, pray for the families and for them.

My blogger friend, Dana has written a great post, an interview with a soldier that is insightful and intelligent. Please take a moment to read about the war through the eyes of a soldier. It's a must read.

Sorry I haven't been around too much. Unfortunately, I have been having some health issues that I am still trying to iron out....things are getting better, slowly but surely.

Again, I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving, surround by good friends and loving family.

Are we "decking our halls" too early?

And when I say "we" I don't mean me. I mean other people who may have lost their calenders (or their minds). I was driving around this evening with the kids and we found numerous homes with their Christmas lights turned on and their trees set up and decorated. Many. Like 15 homes. Call me "scrooge" but it seems a little soon. I love Christmas just as much as the next guy, but I love it after Thanksgiving. I find myself irritated when I see a house all decked out this early. Two houses, about 1 miles from my house, have been decorated since November 5th. No lie. Oh and this radio station, which always plays holiday music before the holidays has already begun playing ALL holiday music, all the time. Anyway...

I am back from my trip. I returned last night, very tired and not feeling very well. But it was a fantastic trip. The fact that I can go away for 2 days and sit in meetings for SO long and never grow tired and only grow more excited and more motivated just blows me away. For those not familiar with what I do, click here. We planned alot for 2007. Great ideas. so.excited. OMG. Wednesday, I arrived in my hotel room, starving to death, at 11:25pm. (I ordered room service and was eating a quesadilla at midnight) My flight was delayed 3 times. Thanks to LaGaurdia. I have never flown into said airport and I will do EVERYTHING in my power to NEVER fly from or to there again. It blows. It's awful. Dirty. Crowded. Huge fans blowing everywhere. Rude people. Hated it. On my way out last night my flight was delayed again, for the same reason, something to do with air traffic control. whatever.

Noah is sick. This morning we took both the kids to the doctor and poor little mouse has an ear infection. He's coughing in his room right now. So, that makes 2 weeks in a row that he'll miss Sunday School. I plan to take Anna in the morning, they have a Christmas program in three weeks, at least one of my kids should be prepared!

I have lots of pictures for you, I hope you enjoy it!

My friend's daughter.

Anna is a natural flipper. We have GOT to get this girl into gymnastics.


ahhh...wine. Pinot Grigio to be exact. We had a delicious dinner at Graziellas in White Plains, NY on Thursday.


I like this picture because my friend Jenn took it. Makes it extra special.
(No flash was used, impressive, no?)


Myself with my friend and national manager, Maria.


Myself with my friends. Lois (left) and Jenn.


Myself before my very first bite of cannoli. Loved.it.


Myself with tiramisu.

Myself with chocolate mousse cake.
(and an extra five pounds, thank you very much.)

A favorite picture of mine taken at the hotel's bar. Good zoom.


Noah eating dinner.


Noah at a birthday party last Sunday.


I LOVE THIS PICTURE. This picture makes my list of Top 10 pictures taken in the past year. Noah and his cousin, Jeremy.


Anna concentrating.

All systems go?

I feel strangely prepared for my trip to NY tomorrow. Laundry is done, house is clean, my "to do" list of 45 things is almost completely scratched off. Could it be? Have I finally figured out how to truly prepare for a trip? And I will tell you...it's not easy being responsible for everything and going out of town. Not only am I responsible for the events taking place with me, I'm also responsible for the events taking place when I'm not even home. hmmmph. doesn't seem right, does it? Tonight, while I was cleaning Race Car's closet, Brian came looking for me, he found me on the floor in the closet straightening books. He didn't really understand why I was tiding up. What he needs to understand is what it would look like come Friday night when I return home, what it will look like if I did not tidy up. oh, the horror.

You may hear from me while in NY, but it's doubtful, I do plan to pay for internet access from the room, but I could very well change my mind. I have acquired a shadow. A shadow named "Anna" who is fully aware of my New York departure. She says things like "but Mom, I just love you, please don't go so far away." She followed me all night as if I was going to sneak out of a window with my suitcase. It will feel strange leaving the house without my shadow right behind me. :-(

Why witch?

I just realized I didn't explain why my kids are calling me "witch." I wore a witch's hat on Halloween. That's it. There is NO explanation for them calling Brian skeleton, though!

And yes, Noah and I went to Target while Anna was at school today and the cashier said "what's your name?" and he replied "Bob the Builder." Of course, he is.

The Race Car, the Witch, the Skeleton and Ariel

My kids have given themselves new names. While I was giving them a bath on Saturday night, Anna was pretending to be Ariel, swimming in the ocean. She then said "I'm Ariel." Then Noah said "I'm Race Car." And then after their baths they would say things like "Ariel, what are you doing." "Nothing Race Car, what are you doing?" "Nothing, Ariel." Then I would say "Noah, do you want some milk?" And he would reply "I'm Race Car, Witch." yes, they began calling me Witch. Race Car would continue "Witch, I'm Race Car, she's Ariel and Daddy's Skeleton." okie dokie. This continued through Sunday. We had a family get together last night and everyone called Noah "Race Car," it was PRETTY FUNNY because he truly loves being called Race Car. It wasn't until this morning, while I was getting ready to go to the gym that I became concerned about taking the kids into public. I imagined ourselves at the store when a cashier would ask "What's your name?" "I'm Ariel and I'm Race Car." I became increasingly petrified on our way to the gym, something told me that they were pretty serious about these name changes. We walked into the day care, they entered the security door, took off their coats and yelled to every child and day care worker "I'm Ariel and this is Race Car, right Witch??" It was great. I explained to the employees the situation, and asked them to please pay no mind to their name changes.

I went to the doctor on Friday. Did I mention in my previous blog that I was actually making a list of ailments so share with the doctor? I just didn't want to forget anything Made me feel so old. Anyway, I went and it went pretty well. Here was my list:
-Headaches--some days they're just terrible
-Knee (I know I mentioned that)
-Thyroid check
-Plantars wart
-a small white bump to the left of my eye

so, let's start with the white bump. I didn't ask, I was too embarrassed by my long list.
Knee, he said I bruised my bone pretty badly, it will take a few more weeks to heal.
Thyroid check-blood test in four weeks. Headaches, he switched my blood pressure medication. He feels I am experiencing migraines which can be a side effect of my medicine, so he switched my medication. He also gave me a list of foods that contain tyramine which has been known to cause headaches and migraines. Homemade bread, crackers and cheese, doughnuts, coffee cake, chocolate, nuts, many varieties of beans, bananas, raisins, peanut butter, chocolate syrup, chocolate candy, red wine, pizza, cheese sauce, seasoned salt, macaroni and cheese, beef stroganoff, and lasagna are just a few of the items I should not consume. Whatthefuckever. Today I made homemade chocolate chip banana bread. oops. (I seriously think it did give me a headache, though, isn't that crazy?!?!) I'll do my best to stay away, but I have had cheese sauce 250 days of the last 255, so...you know.
Okay, so my plantars wart. I thought I had a plantars wart on my foot. I totally blamed it on the pedicure I got back in August. Come to find out...it's a corn. A corn. Like what my Grandma used to get. Anyway, he told me to flip over onto my belly on the table, he left the room, came back with sterilized instruments and dug it out of my foot. I shit you not, there was a hole in ball of my foot when he was done. (yes, it hurt like hell) But guess what, I stood on it and there was no pain. A miracle! After my appointment I went to my knitting class and let's just say....I need to practice.

And uh, to my heart breaking news. My friend, Lynette, my Oprah show hook up, she called yesterday asking what my plans were for Wednesday. She thought my trip to NY was this past weekend, she wanted me to go to Oprah with her to see John Mayer on Wednesday. but I can't. Have fun, my friend, you deserve this trip....I'll be thinking of you. (lucky hooker) Seriously, though, I really don't know much about John Mayer, I would have liked to have just gone to see Oprah again, so I guess there are other people more deserving! Thanks for thinking of me, Lynette. You are the best!

Why am I blogging?

When I don't have time?

Today is a very busy day. I already made two loaves of friendship bread. My neighbor gave me a start on November 1st and I made the bread today. The funny thing is that Anna LOVES it, Noah won't even try it and Brian and I can't eat it because it's too fattening. So, I'll be giving it away, which I think makes me really happy. Brian can bring some into work for his co-workers and I have a baby shower that I am helping to throw on Sunday, I'll bring some then. Perfect!

I have this thing to do today. I am so not excited. In fact, I'm dreading it. I don't know why, I guess I don't like the city I have to drive to. I have to be apart of a check presentation for Exxon Mobil. They are donating money to the LLS and since they do not have a nearby office they have asked me to do public appearances, if I have the time available. We have been trying to work out a time for 4 weeks now and now the time is today. We are taking a picture for the newspaper. It's a nice gesture and I get to wear a new suit a bought, so that's exciting, I just am not excited to do it.

Then I am having dinner at Olive Garden with my very pregnant girlfriend. She is 37 weeks pregnant. She is the girl we are having a shower for on Sunday. All she wants is Olive Garden, who I am to stop her? I would be a very unsupportive friend to tell her no. So, with my feet dragging, I guess I'll go eat salad, breadsticks dipped in alfredo sauce, cheese ravioli topped with meat sauce and perhaps some chocolate gelato. And, to be extra supportive, I'll have a glass of wine. I'm such a good friend. This is her third child since 2002. This third child is a boy, the first two were girls. She has asked me to be in the delivery when the baby is born to take pictures. I'm so honored. She is a friend I acquired later in life and I'm so glad I did. Her daughter was born in 11/02, mine was born in 1/03. We celebrated her daughter's birthday last weekend. We worked together after Anna was born. In 12/03 she lost her mother to breast cancer. Her heart is broken, of course. She is the type of person to never admit pain, when I would talk about her Mom and her loss she would get so mad at me because she would start to cry and she didn't want to cry. But, we still talk about her. I wish it were her Mom in the room when her son is born, but it can't be, so I'll just be the best friend I can be to her. She deserves it.

Next week I am going to New York. It's a "business" trip. I'm excited, but starting to get very nervous about leaving the kids, as always. I have already told Anna, she deserves a notice. I won't mention it again for a few days now.

Did I tell you I cracked my knee three weeks ago? I did. I ran directly into our coffee table, it hurt SO bad, it immediately swelled and bruised. Well, four days after that I was at Target with my sister when I ran the same knee into a fixture holding folded clothes. OMFG. It hurt so fucking bad. I had to leave the store. (my sister bought me a Starbucks to make me feel better) No, I wasn't crying, I know you are wondering, it just hurt. Well, my knee still hurts and it feels funny. So, I'm going to the doctor. I have a whole list of things I need to discuss with him.

After my appointment, I'm taking a knitting class. I think this is funny, when I told my friend Lynette she laughed SO hard at the thought that I thought I would have time to knit! Well, I'll find time...like in the airport next week! I'm excited. I want to make blankets for underprivledged kids.

So, that's what is going on. Time for lunch!

Be still my heart

Anna wrote the word "Mom" today. all.by.herself. I am still in shock. Her preschool doesn't even cover letters, yet. She's wonderful. She first drew a picture of me, and I asked her to write my name. (just to try) She said she didn't know how. I told her to write the letter "M" and she said she couldn't and asked if I would help her. I encourage her to make the "M" and to just try and she did and she did it. She proceeded to finish the word. I am so proud of her. She is so proud of herself. Perhaps I'll work on a new word everyday. I am also very pleased with her thanks to the conference I had with her teacher today. Everything is going VERY well. "Smart, sweet, very socialable, well rounded and kind." Music to our ears.

Here are some pictures from today and this past weekend. I had the intention of making a lengthy entry tonight, I have SO much to share, but I'm just too tired.

Noah is sick. They did give both the kids their flu shots, the doctor checked out Noah's ears and gave us the "go ahead" for their shots. They did very well. I'm so proud of them.

All of a sudden tonight, the letter "h,c and s" stopped working on my keyboard tonight. I rebooted and they started working again. Has this happened to you?

Can you see it? Can you believe it? She did this 100% by herself.
The pride is overwhelming.

This is a huge moment in our lives. Anna has always been sooooooooo TERRIFIED of vacuum cleaners. To the point where we have talked to the doctor about it. If she even thought we may vacuum she would go hysterical. We bought a new vacuum cleaner and we named it "hoover." (aren't we clever?) She has even kissed him. LOL. Like I said, this is a huge step. (even though it only lasted a moment.)

I love this picture.

You can never be too safe while playing in the sand.

Busy kids in the fall.

SAFETY FIRST.





Trying to take advantage of these warmer days.

Where I am not

I am NOT at the gym. Why? Because Noah is sick. One week, friends. one week. I had to cancel my appointment at the gym today so other kids won't get sick. How very polite of me.

Anyway, on a happier note, I lost 4.2 lbs this week. YIPPEE! I'm pretty excited about that! Brian lost 9 lbs. NINE. whoa. My first week of WW in February I lost 8 lbs. We are good competitors. I'm so proud of him.

In 75 minutes, I'll be at the pediatricians office getting the kids their flu shots. I am not looking forward to that, but I'll glad they are getting them. Every time a news report comes on I think about how it can be prevented and how they haven't received theirs, yet. bad mom! But today is the day. Will they still give Noah his shot if he's sick? I guess we'll find out.

must move legs. hurts so bad.

We went to the gym again today. I did some shopping over the weekend to help me prepare:

-New shoes. (in blue) Check.
-New pants. Check.
-New shirt. Check.
-New headphones. Check.
-Menstrual cramps. CHECK.

The kids love going to the gym. The daycare allows you to be gone for 2 hours. I'm typically gone for 75 minutes. I think I'll do more for my workout because the kids never want to leave when I pick them up, guess I'll take advantage of the time I have by myself. I plan to go to the gym 3 days a week.

I love my shoes. I walked for 50 minutes today, over 3 miles. My trainer from before approached me today while I was on my treadmill. She was very excited to see me and even more excited that I hadn't gained weight. In fact, she asked how much more weight I had lost. The answer, obviously, is none. She said my waist looked much smaller. That may be my favorite compliment. :-) She talked to me for over 30 minutes while I was on the treadmill, it made the time FLY BY! It was great, although it was difficult to speak, that's okay! I purchased new Sony headphones on Friday from Circuit City. They are SO much better than the ones I had prior to this set. The last set were made by Koss and they cost $4.99 from Wal-Mart. You totally get what you pay for, they were way too quiet, so uncomfortable and always fell out of my ears. If I don't have music, I do not workout. So, I was very excited for today, but my headphones don't work well, they are a little bit static-y and sound like the plug has been removed a little from the iPod. I'm going to exchance them, they're really nice and loud. My current favorite workout song is Sexy Back, by Justin Timberlake, it has a great beat.

I'm totally exhausted right now. My lower back is killing me, I did 80 sit ups today and strength training. My legs are weak and my feet hurt. It's going to be really hard to do laundry and clean. but I will. Will you come over and help me? great. thanks.

Brian and I want on a date on Friday. We totally used our Flex points at Don Pablos. It was quite good, the margarita was outstanding. out.stand.ing. We then went to Target and Circuit City. I love that Brian understands that I need to buy new workout clothes, shoes and headphones. Makes me happy. He's doing ridiculously well on WW. I'm totally going to lose our contest, by far. You will FREAK OUT when you hear how much weight he has lost in his first week. (check back on Wednesday) It's unbelievable. I really didn't expect to win. I've been on Weight Watchers since February 8th...I didn't expect a huge loss. And the Hershey bar on Saturday night didn't help either!! (Hershey with caramel, no less)

Saturday night we babysat two of my friend's children. My friend has been very sick and desperately needed a break, so I picked up her kids for about five hours. We had fun. Brian is a good sport, he played with the 7 month old boy almost the whole time. The older girl, Anna and Noah did crafts almost the whole time. It was a great night.

Guess I'll put the kids to bed, clean the livingroom, fold laundry and watch Oprah!

3 minutes 55 seconds of your life...WATCH THIS.

Please share this. Thank you to Penny & Elisa for sharing this on your blog.
Importance of a 5-Point Harness Carseat

Friday in pictures

You're not going to tell Daddy I'm wearing two necklaces are you?

Great, thanks.

Lovely hawaiian dancers.

Presenting Jack Black

Going back on Weight Watchers has been interesting, but very good already--just after 24 hours.
I entered my weight onto weightwatchers.com yesterday morning and my weight was up 6.5 lbs. HOLY CRAP. wow. It goes on so quickly and so easily but comes off like it's superglued to your body. total bullshit. I'm so thankful for this great program, truly I am.

Anyway, I had a great day of not eating (is there really such a thing?) I followed my points, I planned them in the morning and this morning I was 2.6 lbs lighter than yesterday. (yes, I weigh myself everyday) What a difference it makes when you are not eating pizza and chocolate. Speaking of chocolate, I did not eat a single morsel of halloween candy. In fact, I asked Anna if she would rather have some Halloween candy or would she rather we get rid of it and we go buy her a present instead. She opted for the present. HOORAY! So, I gathered up 3 gallon size zip loc bags (each filled half way) to donate to where my Mom works, where my Dad works and where Brian works. all gone--no more temptation and the kids can stop asking for candy! I also returned to the gym yesterday and I am so happy I did. While I was walking and stretching and doing strength training, all I could think about is how nice it really was to be alone, with loud music and doing something so amazing for my body. My body is awfully sore today, but that is temporary. We are returning tomorrow. I do need new workout clothes, I had to safety pin my pants at the waist because they continued to fall down and my shirts are XL...I'll be heading to Target tonight...

I leave you with two photos: The first is a picture that Anna drew of Jack Black. I don't know why she drew it, I'm guessing she learned his name from a commercial on Nick Jr. She has the most amazing memory and I think she is a very talented artist, she's only three, people!!

The next is a message from our troops. Speaking of our troops, this is a really cool program by Xerox, it's very quick and easy to complete, I hope you take the time to do it, it's the least one can do!